Amy Drown | The Writing Life: Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Single
Freelance Editor, Writer, and Photographer
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The Writing Life: Don’t Hate Me Because I’m Single

“Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.”

typewriterRemember that commercial? Well, I have a slightly different version for you today.

“Don’t hate me because I’m single.”

You see, I am an apparent anomaly in the world of Christian Fiction today. I am a single girl.

Almost all of my writer friends are married and raising families. I’ve attended writers conferences, read authors’ blogs, trolled Facebook fan pages, and seen the refrain repeated over and over… “It’s so hard to juggle everything.” Even when I get together with other writers to socialize and chit-chat about life and writing, I am soon left out of the conversation because it inevitably drifts to children and daycare and PTA meetings and soccer practices… and once again, how hard it is to juggle everything.

As if NOT having a family somehow makes the writing life any easier?

No, I do not have a husband or children to care for. (I do have a cat — but more on him some other time.) Yes, a mini-bag of microwave popcorn does constitute a five-course dinner in my house. But please, married writer friends, don’t hate me — or worse, envy me — because I’m single.

I don’t have it any easier.

Imagine a boxer who, when the bell sounds at the end of a particularly bloody round, turns to his corner — only to find it empty. He has to towel himself off, massage his own aching muscles, stitch his own bleeding gashes, and worst of all, pump himself up for the next round.

That is the life of a single writer. My life.

I have to be my own cheerleader, accountability partner, motivator, taskmaster, and sounding board — in addition to my own housekeeper, laundrywoman, and bacon-bringer-homer (yes, I just made that a word). When we get together, I may not have the same gripes and grumbles to discuss as you married writers, but I do have my things to say and share.

So don’t hate me because I’m single. The bottom line is, the work or writing is NOT easy. We’ve been called to and gifted for a very challenging and rewarding purpose, and that should bring us together no matter where we are, or what we do, or who we are (or are not) married to.

YOUR TURN: Are you a married or single writer? What’s your biggest challenge as a writer?

12 Comments

  • Carla Laureano

    Nope, it’s hard being a writer, period. Upside of being a single one: far fewer demands on your time. Upside of being a married one: your spouse is legally obligated to listen to you whine about how hard it is. And if you’ve got a good one, backrubs. Methinks it all balances out in the end. 🙂

    April 5, 2013 at 12:21
  • Beth K. Vogt

    Now there’s a perspective you don’t hear very often. Excellent post, Amy.

    April 27, 2013 at 17:34
  • Trisha

    Thanks! You read my mind! 🙂

    April 30, 2013 at 12:44
  • Kariss Lynch

    I’m a single writer. My first book releases January 2014, and I can echo writing in any stage is not easy. You are your own cheerleader and motivator. Even when friends and family encourage, they have their own lives and agendas to get back to. But this season is also a blessing. Maybe one day if the Lord chooses to bless me with a family, I will have some sort of writing routine down to help with the transition. It truly helps me focus on finding my sufficiency and support in Christ alone! I’m with ya, friend!

    April 30, 2013 at 13:06
  • Mary Agius

    Amy, thank you for sharing this perspective. I think it is always helpful to get a glimpse into others lives. My daughter is a writer and single too. Of course, she’s only 20 but she says she already feels like an old maid. 🙂

    April 30, 2013 at 19:15
  • Tammie Fickas

    Amen, Amy! As a single writer I can relate.

    I do have to take some exception with Carla’s comment that as single writers we have far fewer demands on our time. Our demands are different, but we can have just as many as married people and we don’t have the built in support of a husband or wife to help us through the rough spots.

    May 6, 2013 at 21:16